FEAR AMBITION

The stress level develops a mind set,

That makes you reach your pushing point but haven't met mines yet;

Faded, developing hatred, because them kids never stressed ish and they made it,

I wish to form a star but do not wish too be favorite,

All the expectations I hate it, fear for what I will not make it;

Supporters? I have plenty, but haven't met any, that can keep it a hunnit in telling me that business wouldn't fit me;

Is it a perfect set up, the kids that get let up, to believe if they keep pushing their dreams and goals will get met up; 

Well I'm fed up!

Sacrificing my perseverance and my honor, chasing dreams of a man without a father;

And cold shoulders to shady Mrs.

Nonsense in the sense of lady kisses;

Not feeling the disses, so i sit with my mind geek.

Depressing sober thoughts from being hi all week;

The words I bleep...educate the masters, fascinating pastors, standing up for the bastards;

My passwords are memories, typing history causing thoughts visually;

Despite the likes I love the loves and far above, what they think it isn't what it does;

The fact I do things just because, I hate not swimming in mental floods;

I hate my worlds cause of its hoods, and hate the hate below above, what they think and know it does;

Visionary? I barely have a vision,

I lack confidence because I fear my ambition;

VENTING

YEA!...I'M FROM WHERE, THE FROM HERE,
THE THINGS THAT I DONE THERE..
MADE ME DUMB WITH DUMB FEAR OF WHAT I MAY COME NEAR;
YEA!..I DID WHAT I DONE LAST YEAR, WHEN I WAS BEYOND PAST FEAR...THAT WAS A GOOD DAMN YEAR;
BUT...WE ALL GOT OUR EXCLUSIVE OPINIONS,WE STUPID WITH OUR MENTAL DETENTIONS,
BUT WHAT IS THOUGHT WITHOUT THOUGHT, STARTERS WITHOUT START, NIGHT BEATS WITHOUT HEARTS AND FAR FROM THE DARK;
WITTY AS WITTY...ASKING THE LORD TO FORGIVE ME,
FOR TRICKING THESE LOVELY MARYS
AND EATING APPLES AND BERRIES;
WHICH HAVE ME THINKING TO MUCH...AND DREAMING,
I KNEW I DIDNT LEAVE THE GARDEN FOR NO REASON;
I KNEW AT THE START OF THE SEASON,
THAT I WOULD SPEAK MY MIND AND LEAVE WITH A MEANING;
MEANING THAT WE ARE ABOVE..HATING THAT I GETS NO LOVE,
FROM NO LOVERS THAT SHRUG TO THE SIGNS OF BEING ABOVE...
BUT...THIS IS JUST WORDS I TYPE OUT, THAT STEALS THE SHINE OF MANY BLOGGERS,
THE MANHOOD I DISPLAY FOR THEM MEN WITHOUT THEIR FATHERS,
GOT DAMN, I WISH I WAS A CARTER TO REPLACE IT WITH A Z AND TELL THE WORLD I GO HARDER....THAN LIL
MISSING THE START JUST A LITTLE,
TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE BRITTLE;
YEA!...TO BE HONEST I DON'T HAVE A FINISH,
TELLING CENSORSHIPING CRITICS TO MIND THEIR OWN F-IN BUISNESS;
THIS IS NOT REALLY BAD, IF ANYTHING ITS A LOVE LETTER TO DEFEND YOU
IN FACT I LOVE YALL SO MUCH IMA FINISH IT WITH A HUNDRED DOTS OF TO BE CONTINUES............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

G's Interlude part 2

If you are reading this you are a blessing,
As I type I think of you..
As I read I think of you..
As I think of you...I think of more things I can do;
To entertain your minds and to stay true...
If you are reading this you are a blessing...
Thank you-

FLAWS

Penalties to my actions, barely get a reaction, cause I do not really know who I effect or who I'm impacting,

Relaxed but not relaxing, hate myself with a passion, It's like when you get the ball in crunch time and all you think of is passing..

Or fall...friends that I call...are never friends when I call when money's not involved,

And people I continued to love slowly takes a pause;

Its not my fault, I cant even change my past, now girls I seduced in the past entertain their friends talking trash...bout me

History history all of its history, deleted from my search without a single disagree;

Missing me? Missing me? clearly I doubt it matters,

Continuing to piss off like uncontrollable bladders;

Hate the thought that my lonely heart seems to fall apart,

And I hate the fact that I love myself more while sitting in the dark;

It sucks-ess as my mental makes the calls,

As I walk with my head high while exposing all my flaws:

WONDERFUL YOU

Wonderful you...quest soul reaching caliber, soul questing keeper love seeking battler;

Master lust...wonderful you, master touch, 

Master monogamy with your master trust,

Hopeless I, focused guy, modest eye in vision,

Hopes to die, most to lie, with you in decision:

With you and ambition..i know you and ambition,

Will love each other when I am gone with you in my vision;

Crucial contention the tension in your admission,

Beautiful kissing, stuck having me wishing:

Wonderful you...wonderful cool, wonderful fool,

Dripping passion in our wonderful pool;

Wonderful tool...your heart is a wonderful tool,

With your attitude but your wonderfully cruel;

I so so think of true..

When beauty enters my brain and the WONDERFUL YOU

Rigamortis

My...legacy visionation, part of the inivation part of the hesitation, and all of its dedication,
Hardly been define, stupidly on my mind causually blasphemy in this little light of mine,
The rigamortis is so gorgeous and I left it all behind, when my fortunes started scorching,
I just took it all one time, I told myself I got this time, I let myself sparkle the wine, and now the liquids in my soul is inking out all combined;
I climbed the devils silky spine as the cops give me a "piggy" back, and I sparked all pine, and told the trees I wont be comming back;
I'm past all of the height and beyond all of the hype, I told the world I'm kissing heaven and me and Mary is tight....but
Silly I silly I, porcuPINE to the eye and all I can say is I try,
And...i would love to find the gorgeous, greedy with all my courses..this is the metamorphis,
But the beginning to rigamortis

MENACE DISPLAY

Catching feelings uh? They need to understand, I know bosses that move work without a middle man,
They some critics uh? I thought they really fans, I sit in saunas writing mona's so my flow can get a mini tan;
 I need some money, but I dont need riches, trying to have my momma eat good without having to touch dishes,
But goals are just goals and dreams are just wishes, kingPEN having ink swimming with the fishes;
Its buisness!..personally the person in me, is exlusive and thought of as the person to be;
G? o boy, dont mess with ol' boy if they aint in the frontline and believe in decoys,
Grown man, the plastic pen is the only time I see toys,
Victimizing dictionaries and thesaurus we destroy;
Idle as ever, memory is better, than a 70 years old proffesor with a 40 minute lecture;
Refresher? charismatic, and so ecstatic, i dont make platinum, the only time I sparkle I make magic;
But this is just a warmer, movie brother like I'm Warner, my whole life at a cliffhang...the end of a boarder;
Overall, I'm just the worlds menace, and I will continue until the rigamortis of my death sentence;

Mistaken

Time out of life, minutes to everything, If hours can heal lives then what will seconds bring;
Days at a time...weeks out of place,
Power to the world but thoughts so out of space;
And my music aint going so good, but my rythm still exist with me as it always would;
But um...i still wish I had that consistency,
I still wish my team still exist with me;
But bump it, stessing over dumb ish,
Because the dudes I run with, I stay doing dumb ish;
Tell me why...all of us thinking the same, but offered so different.
In love with the same....but far from equallly gifted;
All of us deal with the same...and dont know how we live it,
But only one of us will proably say that he did it;
It sux but its reality, f trust it just gets people mad at me,
Cause magically, I continue to grow gradually, stepping over underachievers happily;
But at the same time I was that too, that school and that crew..yea I was that too;
That dude who ignored situations in his life,
Not searching for knowledge thinking of a life;
Where I can sleep all day and party through the night, summer all year and marriage to a wife;
That could be a show model and an average role model "Nights at the Roxbury" with black and gold cold  bottles;
Dreaming of a pizza like delivery and a flow which swallows,
Black holes that follow astroids full throttle;
All of these risks I am taken,
Too bad no one told me I was sadly mistaken;

Back At It

Simple lyrics, poetic gifted wizard,
Powerful presence like a miracle after twenty blizzards;
Proud of it all I'm on the grind rock it alone,
Bringing it home for all them boys that cant be bringing it home;
Live in my zone, proud to be something to worry bout,
Cause even with the negative talkers I can hear them out;
I step in all positions with a fair amount,
Of confidence to never fear a mount....of scrutiny
For those who put their proof in me, I still need you to see;
Stress is a factor, never really gave it a stare,
Hate if you dare, I'm so messed up I don't even care;
But... time to spread all of my black magic,
Consistently posting because I'm officially back at it!

G's Interlude

I appreciate the time you put in your times,
Reading the simplest words like mine;
Still the toughest to define,
But I ask for your forever feedback and to try to read between the lines;
-THANK YOU

Evaluation

Its me again, all of the things I wrote down I need 2 state again,
Fake friends get ready for the stage again, with women in need of direction but I dont have time for saving them;
I put my all in da past and stick with the present, like throwing life in the bag and live with what you left with;
I mean my mental is so out of it though, old news f up my moods and I aint letting it go;
Know...involved in it all but really envolving all, so I will not drop the ball when my name they call;
No...i aint even that focus, repaying all the pretty women for the hearts they loan us;
Go...life through mental barracks, honored with many merrits, dont want no love I tell em to go and dead it, as if they let it; but my physical state is physically great, I hate 2 say it but thanks 2 all of its time dat all of it takes;
Wait...i put my heart in that ish, in all the grind that it makes, so i'll party tonite and give the women some thanks;
Great....So part of my Evaluation,
Is form legendary and take it all in the making;

Visionary

Visionary visual commentary, capturing the evident moments of those times legendary;
A position or invention of commitment or to mention all of my mental detentions and losing sites of dimensions;
Pretending....that life is how u make it, but its up to others to mention you as their favorite;
And u made it your favorite, songs of your life you played it, now thinking the road you took wasnt really your best fit;
But its....ok in the sense of words, in the sense of verbs in the sense of knowledge while in college,
You competing and defeating those who think of nonsense;
But is it nonsense or is it not sensed or even sensed barely,
All of these things can make you visionary;

UNORGANIZED GRAMMAR

  I no longer think positive thoughts,
As my positive walks through my dark side of my wrong brain....
I no longer feel the movement of my heart,
I'm way to far apart...and close to the wrong things:
Opportunistic I doubt it, If I was don't you think I would have wrote about it,
And these details of evils I cant go without it, while stupid people stare in my face like lets continue to talk about it;
If only I could talk about it...
I doubt I had a moment, doubt I have a mission to mention all of my supported pensions and thank people for their inventions...of me!
Of me? as if there is prototypes of confused black kids like me;
Eighteen with no I.D., problem with no (i.e) focus on ABC and staying away from EFG;
I feel like they put all of their trust in me, without knowing my history, with random people missing me, my life is like a mystery its misery.....visually, I'm laughing, disturbing the pain,
 my heart is burning and wishing it rain, I have no real thoughts I just scribble my name, and wish wen I open my eyes things would change;

Why

Why does the hood have gates,
What do they protect? Or is it the limitations they keep there to pro-ject;
Saying this is your cage you must pay with all your check,
Even if you pay for years we still wont give you no respect;
Why are the urban courts so wrecked from years of no cleaning,
As if the only place for us males to dream has no meaning, I think something neat will give us something to believe in,
Even if it means dribbling for no reason;
Why is my school so far and just as worse,
Than the school I was limited to choosing first;
When other schools least effective activity is maybe chess club, ours is most likely saying no to drugs;
Why are the malls closest to me the least favorite,
Saying it's for the people but my people hate it;
 Why can't I trust anyone who says good things,
And "thank yous" to a compliment sound so strange;
I know my strengths but it is not for any one's attention,
I am so misunderstood like I am in another dimension;
I feel as if when I am thinking time fly's
Far from an alphabetic mind because all I have is just "y's"